Friday, September 30, 2011

If anyone reads this...

If you read this blog, please pray for me. I'm pretty stressed out. Also, if you or someone you know needs prayers, please let me know. I'll be more than happy to pray for those intentions. PLEASE invite your friends to my blog. The more the merrier :)

Monday, September 26, 2011


I'm in study hall right now. I can't concentrate on schoolwork. That's because I can't keep my mind off those little faces. The memories of that orphanage are haunting me.

Sweet little Anya.



The children whose names few know, whose mere existence few will ever know.

I can only do so much. "You are right where God wants you to be." Yeah, I get all that. All I want to do right now is be with those children. I want to hold their hands, hug them, kiss them, hold them. I don't even know that they are still alive. I can't even begin to pretend I never met them.


What am I to do? I've been praying and will continue to do so.


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Please keep me in your prayers...

Hello everybody! I've decided to take time out of my schedule to post an update for you all.

Summer was great, you can look on my mom's blog for more about that.

School is... school.

What's been on my mind recently is how much I still miss those sweet little children, those that I met over a year ago on the other side of the globe. I wish I would have done more for them, and I am convinced that I could have. I had the chance to put even a little joy into those children's lives, and I wasted it. I know now that there is more to life, a greater reality, and I cannot go back.

One thing I really want right now....

is a sister.

Not just any sister, one of those little girls.

As happy as I am for other families who are adopting, there is still a part of me that breaks, like a recurring wound.
Yes, God put me right here right now for a reason- but why am does my heart ache like this? I've been praying and will not give that up, but what more am I to do? I just want to spend my life in the presence of the fatherless, to love those who have been so deprived of it and need it the most.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Just ONE more 4 us!?: Does it Matter?

Just ONE more 4 us!?: Does it Matter?: I have heard from an adopting family they never had to "giveaway" anything to raise money for their adoption. That people just donated. So...

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I'm still here!

Hey everyone! I know I haven't posted anything since November, and I have several ideas for my next post(s). Final (exam)s took place last week, so we just started our second semester. Apparently it's never too early to assign homework.

Here's a preview for my upcoming posts:

My experience: memories, reflection, inspiration, action, healing... I want to learn more about that video Mom has on her blog!


My dream, heavenly consolation and comfort

Now let's see if I can get that homework finished before Monday!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Since the day that I found out that Anya passed away, I've wanted to post some sort of tribute to her. With school, though, I obviously haven't had much time for blogging. Monday evening, I was working on my homework (really?!) and looking for music to listen to (other than the usual iPod routine) and came across this video. This says SO much of what I was reflecting on after Anya's death. If you knew Anya, or even anything about her, I don't see how you couldn't cry while listening to this song. PLEASE let yourself cry! Mom used to say that when you cry it's harder to think straight (straight? straightly?!), but again, I know more than her about something :)

Oh my gosh. I just appreciated something new about homework... or should I thank my procrastination? or perseverance... Wow. Deep.

Anyways... I don't think you can watch this on my blog, but I know you can find it on YouTube. If the video doesn't work, try this link. Thank you Matthew West!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Stas's Orphanage

Not a day has gone by without me longing to be with them.